Sam Adams Suggests NFL Rule Changes - Spokane, North Idaho News & Weather KHQ.com

Sam Adams Suggests NFL Rule Changes

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SPOKANE, Wash. -

If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?  Nobody's going to argue that the NFL puts on one heck of a product.  But let's face it: the NFL just isn't fair for everyone.  For a league that prides itself on parity, there are some players and some teams that seem to have it easy.  In the interest of fair play (and karmic justice), here are a few suggestions for Roger Goodell to spice up the NFL:

-         Peyton Manning can't audible once he comes to the line of scrimmage.  If he so much as points at a blitzing linebacker, he has to throw his next pass left handed. Blindfolded.  With his shoes tied together.

-         The Seahawks "hawk" should be able to not only fly before the game, but during the game as well.  Bonus points for sinking its talons into Jerry Jones if he makes his way onto the sidelines.

-         Tony Romo gets two extra receivers to throw to during the fourth quarter of any game separated by 7 points or less.  13-on-11 seems fair for a guy who can't seem to hit the broad side of a barn in crunch time.  As a tradeoff, Tony has to go back to being the holder for field goals.

-         Any football player changing his name will be saddled with a name not of his choosing.  Remember when George Costanza wanted to be called "T-Bone" on Seinfeld, but then got dubbed "Coco?"  The same should go for guys like Donte Hitner and Chad Ochocinco.  I say we call them Donte Dumass (that's pronounced "Doo-Moss") and Chad Octomom.

-         No more "simultaneous catch."  The next time Golden Tate goes "up for grabs" with a Packer defensive back in the end zone, both players immediately have to wrestle in giant sumo outfits.

-         Fines and suspensions clearly are not enough to discourage illegal hits.  Players need to be hit where it hurts.  With Twitter.  Instead of a $10,000 fine, dock the guilty party 1,000 Twitter followers.  That'll learn ‘em.

-         The red challenge flag is woefully underutilized.  When a head coach is upset with a call, he shouldn't merely toss the challenge flag onto the field.  He needs to chuck it directly at the referee.  If you hit him anywhere in the face, you automatically get the play overturned, no questions asked.

-         And last, but not least, the worst team in the NFL has to switch spots with the best team in the AFL every season.  I can see it now… the Jacksonville Jaguars versus the Spokane Shock.  And the Jags would still lose.

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