Man throwing apples at Portland-area homes and leaving bizarre n - Spokane, North Idaho News & Weather KHQ.com

Man throwing apples at Portland-area homes and leaving bizarre notes

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PORTLAND, Ore. -

This is weird. So what better place for it to happen than the Portland area? 

The Clark County Sheriff's Office, and other law enforcement agencies in the Portland area are looking for the man they are calling the "bad apple culprit." He's not burglarizing houses and he's not vandalizing them, either. He's simply throwing apples onto roofs and leaving odd notes behind. 

Deputies say they've received periodic reports of so-called "apple-ing", in which the fruits are "maliciously tossed" (What's the difference between a malicious and friendly apple tossing?), onto people's homes. 

A homeowner in northwest Vancouver says they came home to find their roof "blanketed" with several apples. The same homeowner found the following note: 

To The Good Citizens of Callisto,

I crossed the Rubicon River.

Today I did five houses. My backpack had fifteen apples in it, three apples per house. I pull up on my bike, take my backpack off, get the apples out, put the backpack back on, walk up a little closer and throw them high in the air over the house. The second and third apples are still in the air when the first one hits. Within seconds I am mounted up and gone.

Roofs are not created equally so the sound effects vary. It can be nothing, to a muted thump, to louder thumps to almost a crashing sound. I can remember one house. The owner must have had mason jars stacked up under the eaves; the apples came down on them like bowling bowls. I've broken a few windows but that happens rarely. If there are overhanging tree limbs or wires, I try to avoid hazards like that.

"Apple-ing" five houses takes about seven minutes. For a while I was doing eleven houses, that was down in the Richmond neighborhood. As it turns out eleven is too many as one night a police car showed up. The way he came was the way I went as he didn't see me and I was surprised to see I was being followed by a Portland Fire SUV with four bicycles attached to the back. Now I heard that Portland Police were stepping up bicycle patrols in the wake of nuisance crimes. I took a right and a left, another right and a left and dropped down to Ladd's Addition. So I started out at the Bagdad Theater and ended up in those nice gardens by the roundabout and there I lay down. I felt good being guarded by flowers.

It should be noted that the City of Portland might be the best place on earth for a hooligan riding a bicycle with a backpack filled with apples. There are bicyclists everywhere, even in the early morning hours. The neighborhoods are like corn fields, easy to get lost in.

What an extremely detailed letter giving insight to an extremely pointless act. 

Detectives (who must not have a whole lot to do) are investigating the "run-by fruitings", as Mrs. Doubtfire would call it. The last time he struck, the homeowner's security system was able to snap some photos. Anyone who recognizes the culprit, or has information as to his whereabouts, was asked to contact Clark County Deputy Steve Fox at 360-397-2211(ext. 5483) or by email at Steve.Fox@Clark.Wa.Gov.

No word on what sort of punishment the Bad Apple Culprit (BAC if you're looking to save time) would face if caught. 

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