Mad Minute stories from Thursday, December 28th - Spokane, North Idaho News & Weather KHQ.com

Mad Minute stories from Thursday, December 28th

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FALLS CHURCH, Va. (AP) - A suspect wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with "Trust Me" allegedly stole a car with an accomplice in Fairfax County, Virginia.
The Washington Post reports that the two suspects from Falls Church were arrested by police in the stolen car not long after the unlocked Honda Civic was taken as it warmed up.
Police say they also found several forged checks during the arrests.
The newspaper says Wilmer Lara Garcia has been charged with auto theft and two counts of forgery. Police say he was wearing the shirt that read "Trust Me."
His accomplice was charged with auto theft.

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One man's joke has become his mission: to give each word a rhyming definition.
Chris Strolin was teasing English buffs in an online forum years ago when he said the dictionary should be rewritten in the singsong rhyme scheme of limericks. He ended up embracing the absurd bravado of his own wisecrack and decided to try it for real.
He started with the word "a″ -"It's used with a noun to convey/ A singular notion/ Like 'a duck' or 'a potion'" - and kept going. More than 1,000 contributors have joined him, off and on, over the years.
The Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form (or OEDILF for short) has published more than 97,000 rhyming definitions since Strolin started it in 2004. The retired Air Force radio operator from Belleville, Illinois, says his project is on track to publish its 100,000th limerick in the coming year.
He hopes his grandchildren - or perhaps their kids - will finish the job decades from now.
The online wisecrack that led to the OEDILF's origin was a teasing swipe Strolin made at the venerable Oxford English Dictionary, which defines 600,000 words across 20 printed volumes. Strolin remarked that the Oxford dictionary was good, but needed improvement. His not-so-serious solution: limericks.
"The more I got to thinking about it, it sounded like a good idea," Strolin said. "The limerick is probably the most reader friendly of all types of poetry. It's also one of the easiest forms of poetry to write."
Perhaps not so easy: Writing a limerick that weaves a joke into an accurate explanation of word's meaning. Take contributor Bill Middleton's definition of "adult":
"As a kid, I was wild and a clown.
As a teen, I would dash about town.
Now adult, I shall go
Very cautious and slow.
Goes to prove: what grows up must calm down."
The definitions run the gamut from the unwieldy adjective "aequeosalinocalcalinoceraceoaluminosocupreovitriolic" - coined centuries ago to describe the spa waters of Bath, England - to terms that didn't exist until recently.
When President Donald Trump created a new word this year with a head-scratching Twitter typo, four OEDILF writers churned out limericks. "Inscrutably tweeted/ A word? Uncompleted?/ The absurd so-called word was covfefe."
To break a huge job into manageable chunks, Strolin has writers tackle the language in alphabetical order. The online dictionary currently stops in the Gs at "gizzard."
That leaves nearly three-fourths of the alphabet still undefined. Assuming the project outlives him, Strolin estimates writers following in his keystrokes will finish the Zs around the year 2076.
"People have said, 'I've got a great limerick for vacuum cleaner,'" Strolin said. "And I tell them: Great! Give it to your grandkids."
Andrew Besso of Jericho, Vermont, took up writing limerick definitions in late 2015. Since multiple sclerosis forced him to quit working as a high school math tutor last year, he's begun treating his hobby almost like a full-time job.
Besso, who used the screen name AndrewB, in recent months has been submitting one or two limericks each day. Between October and December, he more than doubled his two-year output for the site.
"I've been writing a limerick a day, or sometimes two, for a while now," Besso said. "Usually the way I decide what to write is by choosing from lists of words that haven't been defined yet. I won't tackle a word that's already been defined unless I've got something to add."
So while many words in the OEDILF have multiple definitions by different authors, Besso so far is the only one to write limericks for words including "auto-rewind," ″crystal therapy," ″drum stool," ″emoter" and "gimlet."
Sandra Petersen of Frankfurt, Germany, has cranked out 289 limericks since March. The software designer said she likes the challenge of writing in English, which she learned as the daughter of a United Nations translator.
Petersen gravitates toward scientific words such as "ferriferous" and "Gastropteridae." And she wrote a series of limericks on computer keyboard shortcuts such as "Control-N" and "Control-W."
"I write most limericks in one sitting, but I lose interest quickly," Petersen said in an email. "Then I'll file away what I have and look at it again another day. Often I think of good solutions for a missing piece far away from my lists - in the shower, in bed or driving to work."
While handling duties as editor-in-chief, Strolin still tries to write at least one limerick per day. His total output: 7,657 rhyming definitions. That's an average of 589 each year.
Strolin said he's confident his quirky online dictionary is a literary monument that will last. He compares it to "the huge cathedrals in Europe" that took more than a century to complete.
"The people who began those projects knew they would never be sitting in the pews on opening day," Strolin said. "I do believe this project has legs. There's no doubt in my mind people are going to be reading and enjoying our limericks 200 to 300 years from now."
 
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HOUSTON (AP) - Authorities say an intoxicated Dallas woman who was on a first date with a prominent Houston trial lawyer caused at least $300,000 in damage to his art collection, including two Andy Warhol paintings.
Lindy Lou Layman, 29, was arrested Saturday on criminal mischief charges after her date with Anthony Buzbee. She was released on $30,000 bond. Online court records don't list an attorney for her.
Prosecutors say Buzbee, 49, told investigators that Layman got too intoxicated on their date, so he called her an Uber after they returned to his home. Buzbee said Layman refused to leave and hid inside the home, and that when he found her and called a second Uber, she got aggressive.
Authorities said she tore down several paintings and poured red wine on some while yelling obscenities. She also allegedly threw two $20,000 sculptures across the room and shattered them.
The damaged Warhol paintings were each valued at $500,000 in court documents.
Buzbee has represented high-profile figures, including former Texas Gov. Rick Perry in an abuse-of-power case. Then-candidate Donald Trump also visited his home last year when Buzbee held a fundraiser and donated $250,000 to Trump's presidential campaign.

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MADISON, Wis. (AP) - Police in Madison, Wisconsin, arrested a hairstylist after he gave a customer a very unwanted Larry Fine hairdo.
Police spokesman Joel DeSpain says the 22-year-old victim told officers the stylist asked him to stop fidgeting and moving his head during the Friday haircut. The Wisconsin State Journal reports that DeSpain says the stylist then nicked the customer's ear with his clippers before running them down the middle of the man's head on their shortest attachment, "leaving him looking a bit like Larry from 'The Three Stooges.'"
DeSpain says officers arrested the 46-year-old hairstylist, Khaled A. Shabani, who pleaded not guilty to disorderly conduct Wednesday. DeSpain says Shabani told officers it was an accident.

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MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. (AP) - Police say they found thousands of doses of heroin, a gun and human teeth on a man detained during a suspected shoplifting investigation at a South Carolina Walmart on Christmas Eve.
Officers tell the Sun News of Myrtle Beach they charged 21-year-old Tavon Malik Stanley of Calabash, North Carolina, with crimes including heroin trafficking and drug possession.
Officials at a North Myrtle Beach Walmart detained Stanley after they saw a person with him allegedly take around $25 worth of items without paying for them. Stanley had a Ruger 9 mm handgun and more than $2,500 in cash, and officers found dozens of pills, thousands of doses of heroin and two human teeth in his backpack.
Stanley was released from jail on bond. It wasn't known if he had an attorney.

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LEDYARD, Conn. (AP) - A woman has been accused of trying to snort cocaine inside a Connecticut police station while waiting to be booked on unrelated charges.
Police say Nicole Hunter was charged on Christmas Day with possession of narcotics, interfering with an officer and disorderly conduct.
Police had arrested Hunter after a confrontation at her home in Ledyard while investigating a report of an erratic driver. They say the vehicle involved matched the one in Hunter's driveway.
Police say Hunter was in a waiting area of the police station when she pulled cocaine wrapped in paper from inside her clothing and tried to snort it.
Hunter doesn't have a listed phone number and can't be reached for comment. She's due in court Jan. 8.

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SEATTLE (AP) - Authorities say a wrapped present that turned out to be a fruitcake temporarily halted service at a Seattle ferry terminal while police investigated.
Washington State Patrol Trooper Kevin Fortino says troopers were notified Tuesday that a suspicious package was found beneath a Christmas tree in the pedestrian waiting area.
Fortino says the package was deemed suspicious because it was unmarked and was the only gift under the tree.
Officials evacuated the terminal and kept all inbound ferries away for about a half-hour while the police bomb squad investigated.
Fortino says the gift was found to be a fruitcake.
He says it wasn't clear why it was left at the terminal.

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A cold, evening walk in rural Manitoba became a rescue mission for an RCMP officer and his canine partner.
Const. Taylor Burns and his service dog Hix were getting some after-work exercise Monday night, walking a dark, dirt road alongside a snowy field in the Woodlands area, when Hix caught a scent and darted off.
"We typically come across deer and other little critters out there," said Burns, who takes Hix for a two-kilometre walk every night. "He'll run but he's very obedient and will come as soon as I call."
Before Burns needed to command Hix to return, the dog stopped and stood staring at something just off the road.
"It looked like a ball of ice that had fallen off a truck," Burns said. "I told him to leave it but he kept standing over it."
So Burns went over and directed the beam of his headlamp to the ice ball, and saw the glint from a pair of eyes. Then he heard a faint but telltale meow.
Const. Taylor Burns took the kittens into the office on Tuesday, where they were given a lot of attention by his colleagues. (RCMP)
Burns bent over to pick up the near-frozen kitten when he noticed another. All he could carry was one, so he leashed Hix and went back home, wrapped up the cold orange-and-white tabby, then went back for the other one.
Burns wrapped that one up in his arms as well, then kept looking around. He ended up finding two more, but it was too late for them.
Then he saw a blanket and a bowl of cat food.
Burns assumes someone abandoned the cats there. But if they hoped the animals would be found by someone, the location was a bad choice, he said.
"There's nothing around there. The closest thing is a cemetery," he said, adding "it was really blowing hard and snowing" that night.According to Environment Canada, the temperature was around -10 C but a 40 km/h wind made it feel more like -19.
Burns called a vet office and though it was closed, there was a recording for how to deal with a pet suffering from exposure.
"I listened to it a few times," he said, then wrapped the kittens in blankets, put them in a box and set it near a heater vent in his home's laundry room.
He took the box into the office the next day to see if anyone might be able to care for them. After spending some time being cuddled, the kittens were taken home by a colleague.
She has since posted on Facebook that the cats - a male and female - were checked by a vet and "are going to be perfectly fine."
Now she's hoping they find a permanent home.
"It breaks my heart but we are not able to keep them. I would like to give them to a good home and ideally keep them together," she posted.
For his part, Hix was given kudos and a few extra treats from Burns.
He has also been heaped with praise on social media - earning the hashtag #HeroDog - by people responding to a posting the RCMP made about the rescue.
"It's not in his usual job function," Burns joked, noting Hix's specialty is in narcotics detection, not narcatics.
The pair have worked together for nearly a year in the traffic unit and Hix has found a fair share of drugs hidden in vehicles, Burns said.
"He's a very curious dog."

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(Mirror) A woman who rode naked on a motorbike through a town centre, had sex with a man in the High Street and punched a blind man in the chest, has been jailed.
Natasha Claus was today described as a 'mess' by a judge who also banned from an entire town when she comes out of prison.
Police had earlier today appealed for anyone who saw the blonde on the streets to ring them immediately.
The 36-year-old then arrived in Crown Court four hours late and appeared before Judge Peter Ross who jailed her immediately.
He also imposed a criminal behaviour order - which means she has been barred from the entire town of Woking, Surrey.
Claus admitted charges including outraging public decency after being caught by a High Street shopper in the middle of a sexual act with a man which Judge Ross said was "no doubt for money."
The judge also made reference to a further indecent incident, saying: "I had the impression there was some reference to her riding around on a motorbike with no clothes on, but that has nothing to do with the charges today."
He sent repeat offender Claus to jail for 13 months for a string of offences including breaching a previous suspended jail term.
Dressed in a black and white striped jumper and with her blonde hair tied back, Claus appeared at Guildford Crown Court to be sentenced last week.
Prosecutor John Upton said: "The police believe that Ms. Claus has a habit of befriending vulnerable men and taking advantage of them.
"Nigel Coates was one of these. The council later threatened to evict him from his one bedroomed flat because of her anti-social behaviour.
"They had arguments which escalated over various phone calls. She then approached him in the kitchen with either a fist or the palm of her hand. He couldn't tell as he is registered blind.
"She started shouting at him and threatened to set her brothers and mother on him."
The court also heard how she also assaulted two police officers as they tried to arrest her.
Ms. Claus was reported to have kicked one officer in the leg and racially harassed another.
Mr. Upton said: The officers attempted to take her to a police car whilst they waited for a van.
"At this stage she tried to walk away. PC Hopper took hold of her left arm and PC Haslan her right. She pushed her arms away and resisted.
"She kicked PC Hopper in the leg, and yelled 'you P**i c**t at least twice," said the prosecutor.
Judge Moss also heard how a woman who was walking with her children spotted Claus engaging in sexual behaviour in the middle of the street.
Mr. Upton said that on July 29 she was reported in Goldsworth Road, Woking, Surrey, to be seen with the man performing a sex act on her.
He continued: "A woman was there with her children and she remonstrated with Ms. Claus who then stood up and threatened to punch her.
"When Ms. Claus was searched at the scene by the police she had done her jeans up but her knickers were found in her handbag."
Claus' defence barrister. Timothy Leete, told the court how she had become addicted to inhaling butane gas and was struggling to come to terms with her mother's suicide.
Sentencing her, Judge Moss described Claus as "a mess" and said "your life is a mess."
He added: "You were in a relationship with a blind man, it's a fear that you were abusing your position. You came into an argument and you struck him in the chest causing him to fall back.
"Any assault on a vulnerable person is very serious indeed, as is any attack on the police officers who we have a moral obligation to protect.
"The outraging public decency charge is as a result of you receiving a sex act in public - no doubt for money.
"You were seen by a lady who had her children with her and when she was outraged, you abused her.
"In addition, you were supposed to be here for sentencing this morning and you were late by several hours.
"You are a mess. Your life is a mess. I spoke to your son earlier and it is a testament to something in your son's life that he's never been to court and finds this whole situation awful.
"I have made a criminal behaviour order against you, restricting your movements and behaviour.
"I have no alternative but to remand you in custody. The sentence I impose on you is as follows: assault on the blind individual, three months in jail; assault by kicking the PC, two months; the racially aggravated abusive behaviour on the other officer, two months; for outraging public decency, one month and further month for abusing the lady in the street.
"I am also activating a period of four months in relation to beaching your suspended jail sentence, as well as one day for breaching bail. "
The punishment means that Claus has been banned from entering parts of Woking due to her aggressive and anti-social behaviour in and around the town centre.
A spokesman for Surrey Police said today: "Natasha Claus has been problematic in and around Woking for sometime and when under the influence, becomes very aggressive towards members of the public.
"She is also known to target and take advantage financially of vulnerable men living in accommodation in Sheerwater, near Woking. The ban is until further notice."
Force anti-social behaviour manager Jo Grimshaw said: "This ban is in place to prevent Natasha from causing further distress to members of the public in and around the Woking area.
"It will also protect the vulnerable men whose tenancy was under threat because of her volatile behaviour.
"Not only is Natasha banned from entering Woking town centre but she is also banned from Dartmouth and Devonshire Avenue in Sheerwater.
"If you see Natasha breaching the conditions of her order please call us."

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A mum has been slapped with an £80 fine after her children fed crumbs to city centre pigeons.
Katie Trudgill, 31, was penalised for 'littering' after a council worker spotted her two children scatter crumbs from their sausage rolls for the birds.
The mum was enjoying a quick bite to eat after a shopping trip with five-year-old Amelia and three-year-old Finley.
But as the three were tucking into their snacks the two children emptied their bags of crumbs for the birds. Their mum then said she put their empty bags in a bin.
But the family were accosted by a Bradford council worker in West Yorks., who accused them of littering.
Katie, of Ravenscliffe, near Halifax, West Yorks., said: "They had bits of pastry at the bottom of their bags and they have tipped it out to the pigeons.
"I didn't know anything about it, or else I would not have let my kids do it.
"They were just tipping out to the pigeons, no rubbish was on the floor as I had taken the bags off them and put them in the bin.
"When he came over, there was nothing on the floor, as there were that many pigeons - on the ticket receipt it says 'I believe' rather than 'I witnessed' her doing it."
Katie claims there are no signs saying that it is a littering offence.
Adding: "Most people have said 'go to court' and whatever, but I really don't want to do that. I might just have to pay it."
Bradford Council recently launched its 'Eyes' campaign in partnership with the Tidy Britain Group in a bid to stop people littering around the district.
Fines of £80 can be given and it aims to tackle the problem of people littering on Bradford's pavements and roads.
The private firm 3GS was brought in by Bradford Council in a bid to get tough on litter louts - and that would include feeding birds.
However, 3GS managing director Paul Buttivant confirmed his staff would be trained to discern an honest mistake from a deliberate crime of feeding the birds.
At the time, he said: "If somebody drops something out of their jacket pocket, or their child drops something, officers would say, 'Sorry, but you just dropped that'."
A Bradford City Council spokesperson said: "Feeding pigeons in the city centre is discouraged as it can attract vermin and then makes the streets and buildings dirty. It is classed as a littering offence.
"People who receive a Fixed Penalty Notice for dropping litter can appeal the fine and there are comprehensive instructions on Bradford Council's website about how to do this."
 

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